One of the first ways many people are introduced to BDSM is through impact play. But it’s not as simple as “bend over and take these hits”. There are lots of things one should be aware of before participating in impact play. Let’s discuss.

What is impact play?

Impact play is a specific branch of kink under the pain play category, but not all pain play is impact play.

Impact play is play where you strike someone, usually a masochist (someone who enjoys pain), with an implement to intentionally cause them wanted and consensual pain. It can be light and teasing, or can be hard and rough. Not everyone will enjoy all types of impact play as everyone has different pain tolerances. Some pain is more appealing than other pain to specific people. And it’s all parties’ responsibility to find the sweet spot that those involved enjoy.

Why is impact play dangerous?

When you strip it down, impact play is essentially introducing physical trauma to areas of the body. The more impact, the more trauma, the higher the risk of injury. This is something you have to be aware of; something you have to take precautions for; something you can’t do recklessly.

There are areas that should be hit and areas that should not be hit because they pose higher risks of injury. Keep away from the face/head, neck- front and back, lower legs/tops of feet, and lower torso- front and back (this is where the organs are). Instead aim for the buttocks and the front and back of the thighs. The shoulders, and pectoral muscles on the chest are ok for smaller stingy type implements, but nothing too heavy or thuddy.

What is the difference between stingy and thuddy impacts?

There are two main types of impact hits. Hits that sting, and hits that aren’t as stingy but are a bit heavier. Stingy hits are more topical. They engage the nerves in the skin; whereas thuddy impacts hit deeper and target the muscles underneath the skin.

Most implements fall into either of these categories, though a few can be both stingy and thuddy. Also, people tend to have their preferences on which type they prefer.

What type of things need to be discussed prior to participating in an impact scene?

Discuss everything. Negotiations for the play scene need to include the location of the play, duration, risks, needs, wants, expectations, limits, and aftercare. Everything. You need to discuss the risks that could happen. You need to discuss what steps you would take if an emergency were to occur.

Setting up a safeword is a great start in ensuring safety, but sometimes one form of a safeword isn’t safe enough. What if the bottom is too overwhelmed and can’t speak? Implementing a nonverbal safeword to use as well is a great idea when you get into a more intense type of scene. You can use an object for them to hold, and if they need to safeword ,simply toss or drop the item. (Car keys can be a good item because they make noise when dropped). Make sure to do plenty of check-ins. Also, all parties should eat and hydrate before the scene.

Take this seriously. Being responsible when participating will not only protect you, but also ensure that others know how to be responsible too. Taking the time to prepare these things before hand will help ensure a more enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

What kind of items can you use for impact play?

Anything can be used if you’re brave enough. All jokes aside, while it’s impossible to list everything that qualifies as an implement, I’ll try to list a good bit. Never forget you have a natural impact tool just below your wrist. A good ole hand spanking can really make a scene. Household items are popular for newbies because there’s not an added expense. These items can include belts, hair brushes, coat hangers, rubber bands, fly swatters, jump ropes, phone chargers, rulers, shoes, etc.

There are also impact items that can be bought specifically for impact play: canes, paddles, floggers, whips, and crops. There are hundreds if not thousands of different types of these implements. Do your research, some are more stingy, while some thuddy. Some can be more intense depending on the type of material it’s made out of. Some are more flexible, while others are stiff. All of these elements can provide a different pain experience.

Ok now what? Do I just start swinging?

Absolutely not. Before you ever hit someone else with an implement you ALWAYS need to try it on yourself. Test hit yourself 3 times on either the top of your thigh or the underside of your forearm. You need to understand how the implement hits. Is it’s stingy or thuddy? Light pain or extreme? Do you need to swing it to make it hurt or barely tap it against the skin to deliver the pain?

Physical pain is temporary. There are different ways to enhance or reduce the pain during and after impact. Pay attention to the one receiving pain. Taking a short pause here and there might help them tolerate the impacts and allow them to physically go longer. Rubbing the impact site lightly with your hand in between strikes can really help to soothe the pain. Whereas using nails to tap against the inflamed skin, or using an item such as a Wartenberg wheel (pinwheel) can create tons of intense sensations.

It’s important to note that if you ever do an impact scene where an implement breaks the skin of the person receiving the impacts, then depending on the type of item, that implement may not be able to be used on anyone else. If you are using a porous material like cloth, leather or untreated wood, you will be unable to clean/sanitize the impact item correctly. Therefore that item cannot be used on someone else. Silicone, acrylic, metal, and varnished wood are all non-porous.

I want to do impact play, but I don’t have a partner. Is there anything I can do?

This is a very common issue for someone in an online community where they don’t have anyone local to play with. And the answer is yes. Self impact is a kink where you take instructions from someone and administer the impacts yourself. You can pretty much use any item listed above on yourself, but some are more effective than others. Shorter items are better for self impact. Hair brushes, shorter canes, paddles, even short sections of rope/cords. Using a rubber band is a great way to do stingy impact play and get marks. Just make sure you follow all impact precautions and safety measures regardless if you are doing self impact or impact with someone in person.

What is leather butt?

This is something I have dealt with personally, and I wish I had known about it from the beginning of my kink journey.

Leather butt, or leather skin, is developed from lots of impacts in the same area over a long period of time.  The skin can take on a leathery texture, or the impact area can develop nerve damage or scar tissue. This can lead to the impact area not hurting or bruising the way it should.  Remember, impacts are trauma.  And introducing trauma to an area over and over can introduce damage. 

I personally had an issue where I began to not bruise like I should have after intense impact sessions. The best way it was described to me from a nurse was, bruises are essentially broken capillaries under the skin.  When you hit an area over and over and break those capillaries, they don’t just grow back together.  Eventually you’ll run out of capillaries to break.  And you won’t get the marks that the impact session should provide.

The best way to avoid this is to spread the impact area out.  Do not do impacts in the same spot over and over.  Also, you need to allow your body to heal in between sessions.  Notice I didn’t say allow the area to heal, I specified body.  If you have marks on your butt, before you do impact somewhere else, you should let those bruises completely heal.  Your body is one.  And it takes time and energy for your body to heal itself.  Give yourself the time it needs to heal before you introduce another area of trauma that your body has to focus on spending extra energy to heal before it’s healed the previous area.

What type of aftercare should follow impact play?

It really depends on the person, but here are some things that might help. Tend to any physical injuries like cuts or scrapes. Make sure you have a first aid kit handy. Make sure there are snacks and drinks available. Impact play can take a lot out of both parties. Refueling your body is a great aftercare activity. Get all cozy and enjoy the after scene glow. Get a blanket, socks, and something or someone you can snuggle. Stuffed animals work if you also need space. The next step is up to you. You can talk about the scene, or if you prefer a distraction, you can listen to music, read a book, watch TV, or take a nap. It all depends on your needs. Check in with your partner and make sure they are ok. And enjoy the lovely body chemicals an impact scene can provide.

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Impact play can be really fun and rewarding when done correctly. But if not, it can turn sour quickly. Being responsible by making sure you are doing it correctly and safely will only make this branch of kink more rewarding for you and your partner(s). Be kinky and stay curious!