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The only bad question is the one not asked.

Is there something you’ve always wondered, but been too scared to ask? Well, now’s your chance. Ask me anything you would like to know about Kink or BDSM, and I will do my best to answer or point you in the right direction. And don’t worry, all questions are anonymous!

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Curiosities So Far...

  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on May 16, 2024 1:45 pm
    I am a dom\daddy and my wife is a submissive brat and I am wanting to know and understand what that is and what she likes she won't tell me nothing so I am trying to find out for myself
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on May 16, 2024 4:17 pm
      A brat is a type of a submissive who likes to be reminded of their place. They typically enjoy pushing buttons to trigger a strong reaction of the Dominant that will correct their actions and set them straight. This, in turn, will reinforce the power exchange between the Dom and sub, and place the sub in a strong submissive headspace. It can be a bit of a cat and mouse game. And IF you enjoy this type of interaction, it's safe to say you would also fit the Description as a Brat Tamer. But be careful, because not everyone enjoys taming a brat is who always looking to test boundaries. It can be a bit tiresome, on the Dom side, for some. This is something you need to discuss and negotiate with her about. Find out what her main kinks are. Does she want to be put in her place? Does she just enjoy the chase. Is she wanting true punishment for pushing your boundaries or is she wanting a play punishment where it's all apart of the game, and it's secretly a punishment (aka funishment) she enjoys. Don't forget to cover your boundaries too. When you have a brat, it can be a lot. But communicating and making sure you are both on the same page can make it safe and enjoyable for each of you.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on May 7, 2024 8:31 pm
    What kind of impact (not what toys, but what kind… like thuddy pain, or stinging things) leave bruises the easiest?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on May 9, 2024 3:25 pm
      This is very relative to each individual.  Because you aren't really focusing on impact, you are focusing on marks.  What makes you mark, might not make me mark.  So that's a big factor.  There's also a difference on who's doing the impact.  Are you planning on doing a scene with a partner, or are you wanting to do self impact? Self impact is way more difficult to mark yourself compared to doing a scene with a partner.  It also depends on how much pain you can handle.  IMPACT HURTS.  A lot of times, people have to work up their pain tolerance to be able to get marks they want.  Because the amount of pain you have to tolerate to get marks or bruises, can be more than you can handle. But all that aside, you can get marks with both stingy and thuddy implements.  I would say, self impact is easier to get marks with heavier, thuddier impacts, while with a partner, you can do either.  But it really does come down to a lot of different factors.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on April 25, 2024 11:57 pm
    I have always been kinky and submissive but lately I've seemed to develop a incredibly troubling urge and I'm not sure what to do about it. I've had a ws kink for a while but it was just the idea of being marked by someone like I'm their priority. But recently it's kinda evolved into wanting more then just being mark. Recently I've had the urge to let men pee inside my holes and even have thought about going as far as being degraded to the point of licking urinals. I'm not sure what to make of all this or if I should act on any of these newly found kinks. It's very embarrassing to talk about so I can't exactly ask people in my life.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on May 2, 2024 6:36 pm
      Safety has to always be a priority when it comes to our kinks. There are general risks when it comes to water sports, like making sure the urine has no infections or bacteria in it. But taking it a step further to doing degradation in an uncontrolled environment, can be very dangerous. I would recommend if you want to explore these kinks, do it with someone you trust, somewhere you know that cleanliness is a priority. But aside from that, be kinky. And have fun.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on March 10, 2024 6:42 pm
    I have to cover my bottom tonight from a long hard spanking with the paddle, stick, and belt and I have marks how can I cover them up?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on March 10, 2024 6:46 pm
      Wear some pants.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on March 6, 2024 4:34 pm
    I’m freshly into bdsm but I’ve seen videos that are so intense and I want to try but should I start the intensity right away? Or go slow?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on March 6, 2024 6:11 pm
      There are many reasons why jumping into kinks that are more intense when you are brand new isn't a good idea. Kinks are fun, and they can lead to some incredible feel-good body chemicals. But when you are new to the scene and you don't have a solid foundation of trust, communication, knowledge, or a safety mindset, you are setting yourself up for major pains, hurts, harms, or trauma.  You are setting yourself up for the potential of getting sub-frenzy. You are walking into a situation without being informed of all the things that could go wrong or how to handle something that happens unexpectedly. You are not preparing for the deep emotional drops that can happen after intense scenes while having no support or knowledge to help you get through them. It's incredibly risky, not recommended, and could do way more harm than good. 
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on March 6, 2024 4:15 pm
    Why does my vagina sweat so much getting a spanking?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on March 6, 2024 4:19 pm
      Because it turns you on.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on February 7, 2024 10:04 am
    What's the best was to make sure I bruise? My Dom is easily bruised, but I on the other hand am not. I he loves when I do have long term marks, and I as well. But I usually just end up with blood blisters instead of bruises.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on February 7, 2024 1:14 pm
      This one I can't really give advice on. It's honestly probably genetics or some kind of medical reasoning. If you've tried multiple impact areas and you are struggling with getting bruises, then I'd say that is what's going on.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on January 30, 2024 11:56 am
    I am looking to find ways or people to explore some of my taboo desires. Not trying to hook up or date but to safely experience certain things with like minded people. I can easily find extreme things such as committing to a lifestyle or hooking up but I can’t find anything where I can explore things like someone watching me get naked or do cleaning or handyman work for free but naked, or something fun like doing dares naked… things like that. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on February 2, 2024 9:52 am

      You need to try to find a play partner. Although I think you are defining “dating” wrong. Any “relationship” in kink is called a dynamic…and by relationship I mean partnership. From what I understand, you are wanting a partner to explore these kinks and tasks with but without the typical structure of submission and Dominance, without the romance, feelings, or sex.

      A play partner can check these boxes. You get to decide and consent to what you want to do. So you just need to find someone who also agrees and is understanding of what type of things they can expect from you. Just make sure you communicate and make sure their expectations match yours.

  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on September 22, 2023 5:29 pm
    How do you verify a goddess has your good intentions in mind? That they won’t hurt you or your family or blackmail you?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on September 25, 2023 11:46 am
      This is essentially easy to do but can be hard when actually doing it. So, the best way to ensure someone has your best interest in mind, or has positive intentions when it comes to interacting with you in a BDSM dynamic is to vet them. Vetting (I wrote an article on it, you should check it out) is getting to know someone and going over questions with them that you ask them BEFORE you agree to start into any type of Kink relationship with them. Is vetting all you can do? No. Take your time and get to know them. Keep an eye out for red flags. 1 red flag isn't always an issue but if red flags start to pile up, then it's best to remove yourself from interacting with that person. Now, will all of this prep work make it to where you are guaranteed to never get hurt by someone else? No, unfortunately not, but it will make your chances for a safe relationship more likely because you took your time before you started your dynamic. When it comes down to it. Take your time. Be cautious, get to know the person. Learn about them, see if their style fits your needs. And if they aren't willing to wait or get to know you, if they don't want to learn about you before they start, then they likely aren't looking for a quality dynamic and are just looking for a quick fix or someone they can take advantage of.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 25, 2023 2:53 pm
    What is the best implement for bastinado? From mild to hard that won't do damage to feet
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 25, 2023 3:31 pm
      Bastinado is an activity that you will want to really educate yourself on before you participate. As far as implements, you want something like a cane or switch that is flexible and stingy. You should never give hard hits when hitting the soles of the feet. It's quite easy to introduce trauma to the feet. If you think of the bottom of the foot, there are 4 sections: the toes, the ball, the instep and the heel. Never strike the toes, they are too prone to breakage. The ball of the foot can take light hits but does not have much padding, so hard strikes can cause a fracture. The instep is usually very sensitive to people, so one can inflict a lot of pain. Make sure you use light strokes and try not to hit in the same spot every time. You want to inflict pain for the session, but not bruise and cripple them for a week or two. The heel has the most padding than any part of the foot, so for some people, strikes here aren't as effective. Research your options and educate yourself on the risks, before you do this one.
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