Ask Me Anything

The only bad question is the one not asked.

Is there something you’ve always wondered, but been too scared to ask? Well, now’s your chance. Ask me anything you would like to know about Kink or BDSM, and I will do my best to answer or point you in the right direction. And don’t worry, all questions are anonymous!

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Curiosities So Far...

  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on August 23, 2022 8:53 am
    I am possibly getting into an online temp dynamic in the near future. I am new to this in the online realm. What are some tasks a Dom could give his sub in this dynamic?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on August 24, 2022 2:31 pm
      Congrats on your possible new online dynamic. Online dynamics can have lots of rules and tasks. But the most important part is that you don't agree to do something that you aren't comfortable with or are iffy about. Communicate. Tasks can fall into a range of lots of different categories. You can have tasks that are based on appearance, food/drink, exercise, journaling, daily routine, rewards, BDSM play, sexual play...really anything. Anything that the sub might need help with, might want more structure with, might enjoy doing, can all be tasks. You are only limited by the imagination of those in the dynamic. (Yes a submissive can help a Dom structure their tasks or give ideas if the Dom allows). My article on Rules and Tasks gives examples of specific tasks that can be given if you are wanting more ideas.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on August 19, 2022 7:15 am
    Hi my name is Jon is the UK website mistresses I like to know how do I become a slave
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on August 19, 2022 7:31 am
      Hello Jon. I don't understand what you mean by the UK website. But I can give some advice about becoming a slave. Rule #1: you need to research and learn about what being a slave means. You need to research and understand the difference between reality and fantasy. You might like the idea of being told what to do and not have to make choices, but in reality...would you really? You need to understand what you wants, needs, and limits are. This will give you the best opportunity to find a partner that fits you the best. After that, then you can safely begin to look for a match. Good luck!
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on August 19, 2022 7:24 am
      Hello Jon. I don't understand what you mean by the UK website. But I can give some advice about becoming a slave. Rule #1: you need to research and learn about what being a slave means. You need to research and understand the difference between reality and fantasy. You might like the idea of being told what to do and not have to make choices, but in reality...would you really? You need to understand what you wants, needs, and limits are. This will give you the best opportunity to find a partner that fits you the best. After that, then you can begin to look for a match.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on August 14, 2022 1:59 pm
    Sissy is a kink not a gender.  It is a kink that revolves around demasculinization.  But you don't have to be cis male to be masculine.  So anyone who falls into this category and enjoys this kink could be a Sissy.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on August 6, 2022 8:23 pm
    This is specifically about the sissy kink since I do see some overlap into being trans on some of them so are some "sissies" trans women or are the exclusively cis men? I did see some over lap but not enough to know the answer. so are they?
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 24, 2022 9:26 pm
    I live in a small town 200 miles away from Sacramento I've been crossdressing for about ten years now and I want to know is there any way that I could get an agency or know where to hook up and chat with people that either a door or involving crossdressing or in singles please help
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 24, 2022 9:45 pm
      Unfortunately, I'm not familiar with any agency. But I would recommend to check out FetLife and see if there are any local or semi-local groups where you could interact with people who also enjoy crossdressing. And maybe attend some events of the same interest.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 23, 2022 7:37 am

    Hi there hope u well….i recently started to get more interested in bondage its a turn on for me…but my wife dislikes it…im want to learn more and would like to experience it but dont know how and where to start…Mark

    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 23, 2022 9:17 am
      Hello Mark, Bondage is a wonderful and fun kink to learn, but it comes with many risks and safety precautions that you should be aware of BEFORE you ever begin to participate. I would start out by googling "BDSM Rope Safety" and research that before you ever begin. After that, there are some really good online resources to help you learn your knots and ties. I highly recommend learning your knots first. While they aren't as fun, learning and knowing your knots will lead to amazing, beautiful, and SAFE ties. I recommend learning from TheDuchy.com, and also YouTube is a great resource. Two Knotty Boys on YouTube is a wonderful start as well. These are not the only great resources out there, but they will get you started and you can explore further from there.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on May 12, 2022 8:42 am
    Homophobia and hate crimes are on the rise as right-wing culture wars heat up. There seems to be a rise in what appears to be internal homophobia (people using "fag" or "faggot" "sissy" "not equal" "fags are not men" "sissification" etc. to describe themselves and "straight" forward homophobia often mixed with "straight pride" homophobic attacks, misogyny, and racism ( white straight pride). Some even suggest gays are not human and a small faction suggests gays should kill themselves or be used as sex objects and then be "snuffed" when done. This hate kink is often shared in public (i.e., in non-consensual spaces) Twitter threads, and other social media as just another kink (especially true in gay "findom" gay "chastity" and "sissification" threads) and, as such, one must not "kink shame" these harmful, hateful, homophobic public expressions. When is it okay to call out a kink as harmful, hurtful, and dangerous?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on May 12, 2022 9:23 am
      This is a great question. But it's one that I don't really have an answer for, as I'm not qualified nor educated enough in ethical societal behavior or social trends (negative or positive). But I will say this. Kink is generally kept behind a veil for a reason. You can't consent or participate in it until you are an adult. There are lots of aspects of kink that are not appropriate for minors to see or experience. Because of this, the standards and practices behind kink are generally more private, not public. Yes, there are public kink places, events, and parties, but it's not happening in the park in your town square where everyone is invited and involved. Because of this privacy element, those who use kink as an excuse to spew hate to people that they haven't gotten consent from, in my opinion, do not understand (and probably aren't heavily into) Kink. And if they are, I really hope they become more educated. As far as the examples of the specific kinks of "gay findom", "gay chastity", or "sissification", it's important to understand these can fall on a scale. To some people, it's just a fantasy, whereas for others it's a very high turn-on that they personally want to experience in their personal life. As long as all parties consent to the activity or fantasy/role play. I try not to judge and let consenting adults have fun in their kink-filled lives. So, for me, the issue is consent. If you can ensure those you are interacting with are being safe and have all consented to the kink, regardless of how crazy, extreme, or wrong it may feel to you. Then this is where "No Kink Shaming" applies. If it's outside of a consenting dynamic in a public general area ( in person or online), you can't ensure informed consent for anyone that might come in contact with it or be affected by it. I guess that would be the difference for me. Hope this helps.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on March 31, 2022 1:52 pm
    If a dominant wants to be pegged is that giving up control? Even if the sole purpose is to be satisfied and pleased by the submissive.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on March 31, 2022 8:14 pm
      The short answer is no.  Pegging is usually considered a submissive act because the person being pegged is on the receiving end of an action, instead of giving an action.  But let's talk about why this doesn't equal submission. Anal or pegging is generally looked at as giving someone access to your ass (a region that isn't always pleasurable for everyone).  This is considered submission if the Dominant wants to take it and if the submissive submits and obeys that command. If the Dominant enjoys anal and commands their submissive to peg them (or fuck them), the Dominant is still the one who has the power in this scenario.  The submissive, instead of taking the power role is actually "Service Topping".  Service topping is when a submissive steps into the position of giving an activity or action to the Dominant for the pleasure of the Dominant.  This can happen in multiple scenarios, like for example, pegging, bondage, or pain play.  Dom's have kinks and Dom's need them satisfied.  Just because you may enjoy an activity that puts you on the receiving end, doesn't mean you lose the element of power in your role or dynamic.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on March 31, 2022 1:50 pm
    What is your perfect dominant? In detail.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on March 31, 2022 8:17 pm
      I do not have an ideology of a perfect partner. I think perfection is unattainable. And if you are constantly looking for perfection, you can miss out on a wonderful person (or opportunity) standing right in front of you.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on March 18, 2022 2:15 am

    Hello there! 🙂

    Me and my girlfriend are looking for a way to explore some kinky things together. Do you know of any website that offers something like kinky tasks for couples for specific fantasies? Maybe video based trainings or sth like that, in which things are explained and then we are both given tasks to fulfil on the partner? Something similar: Can you recommend any book on BDSM for beginners?
    Thank you so much,
    Julian and Laura

    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on March 18, 2022 8:19 am

      Hello Julian and Laura

      -As far as websites that offer tasks or training then tasks, unfortunately I’m not aware of any. However, there are some good YouTube BDSM Influencers in regards to education. (Evie Lupine, Watts The Safeword, Kat Blaque, Morgan Thorne BDSM, etc)

      -In regards to task-based avenues, I know there are some Kink servers on Discord that offer tasks for their BDSM community.

      -BDSM books, oh my gosh there are so many good ones.

      Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns- by Philip Miller

      The New Topping Book
      Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

      The New Bottoming Book
      Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

      BDSM Basics for Beginners by Michelle Fegatofi

      SM101 by Jay Wiseman

      These are just a few that I recommend.

      It’s exciting to be able to explore with a partner. Your education and growth now, will set you on a path for exploration for years to come and it truly is a really exciting adventure!