Ask Me Anything

The only bad question is the one not asked.

Is there something you’ve always wondered, but been too scared to ask? Well, now’s your chance. Ask me anything you would like to know about Kink or BDSM, and I will do my best to answer or point you in the right direction. And don’t worry, all questions are anonymous!

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Curiosities So Far...

  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on March 6, 2024 4:15 pm
    Why does my vagina sweat so much getting a spanking?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on March 6, 2024 4:19 pm
      Because it turns you on.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on February 7, 2024 10:04 am
    What's the best was to make sure I bruise? My Dom is easily bruised, but I on the other hand am not. I he loves when I do have long term marks, and I as well. But I usually just end up with blood blisters instead of bruises.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on February 7, 2024 1:14 pm
      This one I can't really give advice on. It's honestly probably genetics or some kind of medical reasoning. If you've tried multiple impact areas and you are struggling with getting bruises, then I'd say that is what's going on.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on January 30, 2024 11:56 am
    I am looking to find ways or people to explore some of my taboo desires. Not trying to hook up or date but to safely experience certain things with like minded people. I can easily find extreme things such as committing to a lifestyle or hooking up but I can’t find anything where I can explore things like someone watching me get naked or do cleaning or handyman work for free but naked, or something fun like doing dares naked… things like that. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on February 2, 2024 9:52 am

      You need to try to find a play partner. Although I think you are defining “dating” wrong. Any “relationship” in kink is called a dynamic…and by relationship I mean partnership. From what I understand, you are wanting a partner to explore these kinks and tasks with but without the typical structure of submission and Dominance, without the romance, feelings, or sex.

      A play partner can check these boxes. You get to decide and consent to what you want to do. So you just need to find someone who also agrees and is understanding of what type of things they can expect from you. Just make sure you communicate and make sure their expectations match yours.

  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on September 22, 2023 5:29 pm
    How do you verify a goddess has your good intentions in mind? That they won’t hurt you or your family or blackmail you?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on September 25, 2023 11:46 am
      This is essentially easy to do but can be hard when actually doing it. So, the best way to ensure someone has your best interest in mind, or has positive intentions when it comes to interacting with you in a BDSM dynamic is to vet them. Vetting (I wrote an article on it, you should check it out) is getting to know someone and going over questions with them that you ask them BEFORE you agree to start into any type of Kink relationship with them. Is vetting all you can do? No. Take your time and get to know them. Keep an eye out for red flags. 1 red flag isn't always an issue but if red flags start to pile up, then it's best to remove yourself from interacting with that person. Now, will all of this prep work make it to where you are guaranteed to never get hurt by someone else? No, unfortunately not, but it will make your chances for a safe relationship more likely because you took your time before you started your dynamic. When it comes down to it. Take your time. Be cautious, get to know the person. Learn about them, see if their style fits your needs. And if they aren't willing to wait or get to know you, if they don't want to learn about you before they start, then they likely aren't looking for a quality dynamic and are just looking for a quick fix or someone they can take advantage of.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 25, 2023 2:53 pm
    What is the best implement for bastinado? From mild to hard that won't do damage to feet
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 25, 2023 3:31 pm
      Bastinado is an activity that you will want to really educate yourself on before you participate. As far as implements, you want something like a cane or switch that is flexible and stingy. You should never give hard hits when hitting the soles of the feet. It's quite easy to introduce trauma to the feet. If you think of the bottom of the foot, there are 4 sections: the toes, the ball, the instep and the heel. Never strike the toes, they are too prone to breakage. The ball of the foot can take light hits but does not have much padding, so hard strikes can cause a fracture. The instep is usually very sensitive to people, so one can inflict a lot of pain. Make sure you use light strokes and try not to hit in the same spot every time. You want to inflict pain for the session, but not bruise and cripple them for a week or two. The heel has the most padding than any part of the foot, so for some people, strikes here aren't as effective. Research your options and educate yourself on the risks, before you do this one.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 25, 2023 2:50 pm
    When selecting a switch for erotic spanking, what should be considered? What species of tree or plant make the best switches? What are the stingiest, whippiest, and available switches?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 25, 2023 3:09 pm
      I have personally seen Ratan and Bamboo used for impact play. I've seen people use really flexible/vine type switches and I've been also seen thicker, non-flexible switches or canes used too. As far as what's the best type of tree, that will be a personal preference. Go out, grab a few, and test them on yourself. See how they feel in the hand, and see if they are durable or break easily. Kinky research is always a fun time. As a general rule, the thinner the implement, the more stingy and whippy it will be. But don't limit your options too much. There are plenty of items that can be used as a switch that isn't wood. Phone or electrical cords, rubber bands, or hangers can all be used for a fun time too.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 22, 2023 8:54 am
    How can you increase the sting of a spanking without doing serious damage?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 22, 2023 1:39 pm
      The sting of a spanking is not always directly related to how hard you swing. Different implements can give different results. Implements made of different materials can be more intense than others. Faster swats with less rest time in between can also increase the sting of impact. I recently wrote an impact article that has lots of information regarding all things impact. Check it out if you would like more information!
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 17, 2023 8:50 am
    Are their any lists of bdsm activities with check mark boxes to indicate if your good with an activity, maybe , or not. I need the web address ror such a list preferably printable. Thanks.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 18, 2023 2:47 pm
      Hello, There are! They are called BDSM Checklists. Also known as submissive checklists. They are a very good resource for new dynamics, when you are in the "get to know you" stage. While I don't have a specific checklist I recommend, I can tell you how to find them. Just Google "BDSM Checklists" and a lot of good results will pop up. You might need to look at a few to find which one fits your needs best. If you are wanting to bypass the websites that offer these lists, search in Google "BDSM Checklists .pdf", and this will pull up the direct download files for you to download, fill out, and print out. Hope this helps!
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 10, 2023 4:14 pm
    My wife wants me to tickle her while muzzled. How do I know if she’s had too much if she can’t speak?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 10, 2023 5:28 pm
      Hello. You won't just know.  You are not a mind reader.  You will need to make sure safety is a main focus.  Check-ins will be essential.  You need to check in with your wife multiple times throughout the play scene.  You also need to set up non-verbal safewords and check-ins. One of many examples of these would be holding something that makes noise when dropped, like a keychain with keys. Check out my article on BDSM Safety, if you want more information.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 9, 2023 8:52 am
    Does anyone do erotic spanking without the "you've been bad" dynamic or role play? We just want to do D/s where the submission is a gift and funishment is a test of the subs devotion and a way to earn a reward. We will probably switch back and forth. We both would just like a little bdsm without a lot of the dom being master and the sub being slave stuff.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 9, 2023 9:57 am
      Absolutely! There are actually several different types (think reasons) of spankings. Therapeutic spankings, erotic spankings, role play spankings, punishment spankings, hardcore spankings and maintenance spankings. Therapeutic spankings are solely for bringing out an emotional release for the bottom and usually is completely void of anything sexual. Erotic spanks are usually used as a build up to sexual play. Role play spankings are essentially that. They are used when both individuals are pretending to be in some kind of roles or play scene. Punishment spankings are used to correct some kind of inappropriate behavior, and are not intended to be enjoyed by the person receiving the spankings. (if the spankings are enjoyed, then they aren't truly punishment spankings). Hardcore spankings are a higher level of spankings that focus on high levels of pain. These are usually left for the Sadists and masochists to enjoy and explore. And last but not least, maintenance spankings. These spankings are generally used to form a connection or reconnection with the Top and bottom. These spankings can be used, if say, the bottom is struggling with their headspace and just having a stressful time in general. Having the submissive receive a round of maintenance spankings can reestablish and reground their submission and remind them of their submissive place. Spankings can be used in many different ways for many different reasons. Find your reasons and enjoy!