Ask Me Anything

The only bad question is the one not asked.

Is there something you’ve always wondered, but been too scared to ask? Well, now’s your chance. Ask me anything you would like to know about Kink or BDSM, and I will do my best to answer or point you in the right direction. And don’t worry, all questions are anonymous!

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Curiosities So Far...

  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 22, 2023 8:54 am
    How can you increase the sting of a spanking without doing serious damage?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 22, 2023 1:39 pm
      The sting of a spanking is not always directly related to how hard you swing. Different implements can give different results. Implements made of different materials can be more intense than others. Faster swats with less rest time in between can also increase the sting of impact. I recently wrote an impact article that has lots of information regarding all things impact. Check it out if you would like more information!
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 17, 2023 8:50 am
    Are their any lists of bdsm activities with check mark boxes to indicate if your good with an activity, maybe , or not. I need the web address ror such a list preferably printable. Thanks.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 18, 2023 2:47 pm
      Hello, There are! They are called BDSM Checklists. Also known as submissive checklists. They are a very good resource for new dynamics, when you are in the "get to know you" stage. While I don't have a specific checklist I recommend, I can tell you how to find them. Just Google "BDSM Checklists" and a lot of good results will pop up. You might need to look at a few to find which one fits your needs best. If you are wanting to bypass the websites that offer these lists, search in Google "BDSM Checklists .pdf", and this will pull up the direct download files for you to download, fill out, and print out. Hope this helps!
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 10, 2023 4:14 pm
    My wife wants me to tickle her while muzzled. How do I know if she’s had too much if she can’t speak?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 10, 2023 5:28 pm
      Hello. You won't just know.  You are not a mind reader.  You will need to make sure safety is a main focus.  Check-ins will be essential.  You need to check in with your wife multiple times throughout the play scene.  You also need to set up non-verbal safewords and check-ins. One of many examples of these would be holding something that makes noise when dropped, like a keychain with keys. Check out my article on BDSM Safety, if you want more information.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 9, 2023 8:52 am
    Does anyone do erotic spanking without the "you've been bad" dynamic or role play? We just want to do D/s where the submission is a gift and funishment is a test of the subs devotion and a way to earn a reward. We will probably switch back and forth. We both would just like a little bdsm without a lot of the dom being master and the sub being slave stuff.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 9, 2023 9:57 am
      Absolutely! There are actually several different types (think reasons) of spankings. Therapeutic spankings, erotic spankings, role play spankings, punishment spankings, hardcore spankings and maintenance spankings. Therapeutic spankings are solely for bringing out an emotional release for the bottom and usually is completely void of anything sexual. Erotic spanks are usually used as a build up to sexual play. Role play spankings are essentially that. They are used when both individuals are pretending to be in some kind of roles or play scene. Punishment spankings are used to correct some kind of inappropriate behavior, and are not intended to be enjoyed by the person receiving the spankings. (if the spankings are enjoyed, then they aren't truly punishment spankings). Hardcore spankings are a higher level of spankings that focus on high levels of pain. These are usually left for the Sadists and masochists to enjoy and explore. And last but not least, maintenance spankings. These spankings are generally used to form a connection or reconnection with the Top and bottom. These spankings can be used, if say, the bottom is struggling with their headspace and just having a stressful time in general. Having the submissive receive a round of maintenance spankings can reestablish and reground their submission and remind them of their submissive place. Spankings can be used in many different ways for many different reasons. Find your reasons and enjoy!
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 9, 2023 8:42 am
    Can cum be collected and frozen to thaw and play with later? What is it like when it thaws, tast, smell, texture, etc. Can it be used as a lube? Creampie? Private bukkake party?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 9, 2023 9:18 am
      Yes, cum can be collected and frozen to be used at a later time.  Though there are some things to be aware of.  It's best to store in an air tight container.  If you put warm cum straight into the freezer, this increases the chances of moisture to collect inside the container you are storing it in.  It's best to put it in the fridge first and let it cool.  Also, never add warm cum to frozen cum.  Fridge first, and then add or put it in a separate container.  As far as texture, taste, and smell after it thaws, I don't really know.  I'm sure that it won't be as thick as fresh cum is, just because it's going through a melting process.  Frozen cum will never be as good as fresh cum, but that doesn't mean frozen cum can't be stored.  Cum can spoil. If it smells or tastes off when it thaws, toss it. I wouldn't keep it any longer than 3 to 4 days in the refrigerator. In the freezer, I would throw it away after 3 months. Frozen cum can be used for pretty much anything you can think of. Just be mindful that freezing cum doesn't make it infertile.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on June 9, 2023 8:32 am
    I want to go down on my wife after I've cum in side her. The idea of eating my creampie has always been a turn on for us both. Unfortunately, After I come, I lose interest almost immediately. I always finger her to orgasm if she needs it no problem. And I always go down on her and make her cum before int ercourse, or stop and go down on her to make her cum, before I come in side her. I love it when she goes down on me and we kiss and I taste my cum in her mouth. We've even snow balled some. She has licked me after intercourse and Id like to do the same any advice?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on June 9, 2023 9:34 am
      Ok, so I think your question is do I have any advice to help you not lose interest after you cum. And unfortunately this is so individualistic I'm not sure that I do. I would ask how long does it take for you to get in the mood again? Do you need a 20 min break, or are you done for the day? IF you just need a break, then you could always have your wife not clean up and then once you take a short break, enjoy the cream pie. If you need something to get you back in the mood, you could try watching some clips of your favorite type of porn. But aside from that, lean into the things that turn you on to help you rebuild your interest. Try different approaches. You never know which one might work.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on May 20, 2023 10:17 am
    What are some stress positions that can be used in D/s play?
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on May 20, 2023 4:00 pm

      Stress positions can be incorporated pretty easily into D/s.  Any position a person is asked to hold over time becomes a stress position. There are some common ones, like standing on tiptoes, standing on one leg, holding a plank, and doing a wall sit. But this is where you can get creative. Adding an item can help increase the difficulty of stress positions. Kneeling on rice, holding full cups of water straight out from the body, or holding a quarter against the wall with their nose are some examples of these. Predicament play, also can incorporate stress positions. By using the stress positions in conjunction with a negative consequence if the stress position fails, you can really dive into pain play. An example of this would be having a submissive go up on their tiptoes, and then incorporating nipple clamps that are tied to a string that are anchored above their head, so when they lower down from their toes, it pulls more on the clamps. Stress positions really can be a wonderful inclusion to any play scene.

  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on April 25, 2023 10:44 pm
    How often should a Dom be talking to a submissive in the beginning
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on April 26, 2023 9:30 am
      This is a personal preference, and is determined on a lot of different factors. What are the intentions of the Dom or sub? Are they interested in pursuing a dynamic or just wanting to get to know each other? How much time a day does each party have to focus on this interest? Communication is a two way street. If you are wanting to pursue a dynamic with a partner, Dom or sub, then you should communicate regularly and often. How else are you going to get to know them?
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on April 25, 2023 10:47 am
    Hello! I've found out recently that I'm very much into the predator / prey dynamic, but I can't just tell my boyfriend to start hunting me down. Do you know of any, more practical, ways to implement this? I mainly want to feel that adrenaline rush from fear.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on April 25, 2023 11:11 am
      My question for you would be, is your boyfriend into kink or is he completely vanilla? Because this is a huge factor that would dictate what approach to take when it comes to communicating your desires. In general you need to talk to him about what you're looking for and wanting to get out of a play scene or session. Does he know what Primal is or would you need to introduce the whole concept? You could always water it down. For example you could use a common analogy, like Sylvester the cat always on the hunt, trying to capture Tweety Bird. Regardless of how you decide to approach the topic, communication is key. Talking about your desires with your partner is crucial to having a safe and fun scene.
  • Curious Kinkster asked:
    on April 16, 2023 7:56 am
    I like dominating my wife and she loves the submissive role but I would rather us me more switch as I enjoy when a woman takes control as my exwife did at times. This isn’t something my wife now wants to do? Is there anything to do to make her more comfortable? I definitely don’t want to do anything that she doesn’t want to do here, but still… I get turned on when a woman takes charge and pretty much uses me and doesn’t care about my needs.
    • kinkycuriosity replied:
      on April 25, 2023 11:22 am

      It is important you discuss your desires with each other. Sometimes, partner desires don’t line up perfectly, especially if you explore after you are together. Talk to her about what you would like, but also listen to her side as well. Unfortunately you can’t change someone’s identity in Kink, if they aren’t a Switch. Having a submissive try to be a Dominate or vice versa is a decision they have to make. And if they aren’t open to it or are uncomfortable with the idea, then there’s not much you can do to convert them.

      But that doesn’t mean that’s your only option. You can always discuss reaching out to a 3rd party with your partner. Having a play partner in person or online might suffice. Sometimes just planting an idea seed and giving it time to grow can help give someone the time and the curiosity to consider trying something new. But at the end of the day, talk about it. And see if there’s anything that can be negotiated.