In BDSM, rope is a very common activity. It is used to bind a person in different positions for different purposes. Participants of rope play may want to bind their partner into a specific position for sexual play. They may want to use rope as an art form and make intricately beautiful designs and use their partner as a canvas. Maybe they just want to establish dominance and restrict movement to enhance submission. Or they might want to combine some of these and enjoy multiple scenarios at the same time. Regardless of the reasons you are interested in using rope in your BDSM play, there’s lots to know and take precaution of before you begin.
What do you call people who enjoy rope play?
The term Rigger is used for the subject doing the tying, usually the Top or Dominant of the play scene. The terms Rope Bottom, Rope Bunny or Rope Slut can be used for the subject being tied, usually the bottom or submissive of the play scene. If you self-tie, you are technically both the Rigger and the rope bottom at the same time.
What should I discuss in negotiations prior to a scene?
You need to discuss everything. Negotiations need to include location and time of the play, duration, needs, wants, expectations, limits, and aftercare. You need to discuss the risks that could happen. You also need to discuss what steps you would take if an emergency were to occur.
What type of safety precaution should you be aware of?
Rope safety is a large topic. First things first, bondage is never risk-free. All people involved (that means those tying and those being tied) are responsible to manage their own risk. This means communicating when something changes, hurts, looks off, loses feeling, etc. Make sure you talk beforehand about what to expect as well as the needs and wants of each individual. Discuss the safety protocol that is to used during the scene, and what to expect after. Cover everything so everyone is prepared as best they can be.
Before you begin playing with ropes, always make sure you have a way to remove them in case of an emergency. Safety sheers are the most common and preferred type of scissors for rope play. The ends are blunt and will not poke or cut someone when in a rush to get them off. Rope play can be dangerous because when you bind someone it applies pressure to different parts of the body. When incorrect pressure is applied, or applied in incorrect places, it can lead to a host of problems. Rope can make marked indentions into the skin, give bruises, and even cause rope burn. Rope play runs the risk of cutting off circulation, air flow, creating nerve damage, and has even been the cause of death.
So how do you prevent these, while still having fun? Never have knots press against joints (inner wrists and elbows, ankles, behind the knees, under the arms, inner thighs, or around the neck). These can compress nerves and lead to nerve damage. For example, to prevent issues when tying the wrists together, put the palm-sides of the wrists facing each other, then wrap and secure the rope around the outside of the wrists.
Never tie so tight that you cut off circulation to arms or legs. Touch the skin and pay attention to the temperature. If it’s getting cold to the touch, it’s probably losing blood flow. Some knots can tighten when pulled against. As a general rule, never have a limb tied more than 30 mins without moving. Adjust or retie the body in a new position to ensure proper circulation. Never put rope around the front or sides of the neck. Breath play can be fun and we will discuss that at a later date, but permanent injury or damage is not.
When someone is tied with limited mobility, they are at higher risk to fall or get a non-rope causing injury. To prevent this, stay with your bound partner at all times, though you can always make them think that they are alone. Make sure there is nothing for them to trip over, or roll off of. Make sure they are secured and supported throughout the scene.
If someone complains of pain, numbness, or tingling in their limbs, make sure to address the areas they are calling attention to. Tying the arms and legs last, can help with this as these are the biggest problem areas. Tying them last means they get untied first and can be repositioned or retied if needed.
What is the difference between bondage and Shibari?
Bondage is restricting someone’s movements with rope, cuffs, or other types of restraints. Whereas Shibari is the Japanese art of rope bondage; the word translates as “to tie decoratively”. According to Jayquisitive, it originated in the late 19th century in a related art known as kinbaku (“tightly binding”).
What type of rope can be used for bondage?
I personally have experience with hemp, jute, polyester, and nylon. So for the rest of these examples, I relied on Ropestudy for a more in-depth explanation.
Rope falls into two main categories: natural fiber and synthetic. In general, natural-fiber rope tends to be weaker and less durable than synthetic rope. Natural fiber usually has better grip (holds knots better without tightening or loosening, though this depends on the type of knot), easier handling (it doesn’t tangle as easily), and there is less chance for rope burn.
Natural Fiber Rope
•Hemp– soft, holds knots easily, easier to care for than jute, slightly stronger than jute
•Linen– softer than hemp, holds knots fairly easy, machine washable
•Jute– springier and lighter than hemp and linen, holds knots well, unties well, difficult to care for
•Cotton– soft, holds knots easily, but is difficult to untie; not recommended for suspension due to its knotting; cheaper cotton is very weak
•Bamboo/Rayon and Silk: typically the softest of the ropes, holds knots easily, but the stretch makes it unsuitable for suspension
•Sisal, Manila: rough and scratchy, good for sadistic play, but not for supporting body weight
•Coconut: rough and scratchy, good for sadistic play, but easily breakable and not suited for other binding purposes
Synthetic Rope
•Nylon: soft, slippery, little grip, stretchy, can be dyed, machine-washable
•MFP/Polypropylene: can be stiffer than nylon, less stretch, little grip, floats in water, can’t be dyed at home, UV resistant, machine-washable
•Polyester: stiffer, less grip, less stretch, machine-washable
•Synthetic “Natural Fiber” [typically sold as Hempex or POSH (Portside Out, Starboard Home)]: looks like natural fiber, stiffer, lighter, holds knots better than other synthetics, machine washable
How do I clean my rope if it gets dirty?
Honestly, it depends on what kind you have. Check with the manufacturer of your rope for specific cleaning instructions.
In general, natural fiber is more difficult to clean, and it may be easier to designate that some of your rope only to be used with a specific partner. Meaning, if you do a crotch rope on a partner, to prevent body fluids and possible STD contamination, only use that rope with that specific partner. If you want to attempt to clean natural fiber rope, you can hand wash it, with a gentle cleanser that can remove organic matter. Some synthetic rope can be placed in a washing machine. If washing in a machine, always put your rope in a cloth bag or pillow case to prevent it from getting knotted and wrapped around itself or other items. Natural fiber rope should always be hung to dry. Place on a clothesline, over a shower bar, or towel holder. Most synthetic rope naturally repels oil, so to clean it, simply wipe it down with a damp cloth.
Does my rope need to be conditioned? How do I condition rope?
Synthetic rope doesn’t need any conditioning. Some like to condition their natural fiber rope to make it softer and less scratchy. You can condition your rope in a few ways. Apply a small amount of mineral oil (this oil will not sour) to a clean cloth and rub the cloth across sections of the rope, in a small area at a time. Some people prefer to wax their rope. Beeswax is the most common wax to use for rope conditioning. Rub a small amount of wax along the length of the rope. There’s also the option of mixing half oil and half wax. But be careful! Putting too much oil or wax on your rope can ruin it. Add a little at a time. You can always add more later. Conditioning your rope can help to improve the feel, minimize shedding, and reduce friction without changing the way the rope knots.
How should rope be stored?
This really depends on how much room you have. Hanging a folded-in-half rope over a bar in a dark area (like a closet) is the ideal scenario as it provides the least amount of impact to the rope structure. You can also tie it in a figure 8 or coil it up. Store it in a bag or container in a dark, cool, dry place to keep it from getting damaged by water, chemicals, or the sun’s UV rays.
What is a column in rope play?
For tying purposes, a column is anything you can tie around: a leg, arm, torso, post, pole, chair leg, etc. A single column tie is the anchor tie. For example, one might start by tying around a bedpost, or waist to begin their first knot. A double column tie is essentially what it states, tying two columns together (two arms, two legs, an arm and a torso, a leg and a post, etc).
What size rope is commonly used during rope play?
It depends what you are wanting to do. Just wanting to tie someone down? I suggest rope that is no thinner than 5mm. The thinner the rope, the tighter the knots, and the more pressure that is put on one spot. This can lead to issues with circulation, nerve damage, bruising or even scaring. I prefer 6mm, but some people prefer 8. If you are wanting to make simple Shibari patterns, 8mm works well because it makes larger knots and fills the space and can look really pretty. If you are wanting to try more intricate patterns, go with 6mm.
I don’t know where to begin. What lengths of rope should I get to start?
This is really up to you, but I personally started with getting a few ropes that were 10 meters in length (approx. 32ft). But as I grew my rope collection, I added a few 20m (65ft) and some 5m (16ft). In this case, meters are easier for me to stick with to make sure all of my rope is similar in length. I believe anywhere from 25-35 ft is about average of what people typically use. If you opt for 20m just be aware that the more rope you have, the easier it is to get tangled. So getting multiples of 10m can be more user friendly.
What is suspension?
There are two types of suspension, partial suspension and full suspension. Partial suspension is where the rope bottom supports part of their own weight, and the ropes and equipment support the rest of the weight. For example, having a leg tie hold someone’s leg off the ground, but instead of the rope bearing the full load of weight, their other foot is on the ground to help stabilize and prevent the rope from bearing the whole weight of the person. Full suspension is where the ropes and suspension equipment hold and support the person’s full weight. No part of their body is still in contact with the ground.
Suspension can be done with ropes, chains or cables. These are attached to suspension rings, bars, or rigs. Make sure you inspect all equipment prior to doing a suspension scene. Suspension can be done with all body types and sizes. Just make sure you have the proper equipment to hold and support the weight you are wanting to suspend, and know how to tie or hoist the person safely to ensure the safety of all people participating.
What body parts can support suspension?
The legs and arms can support suspension with the help from suspension cuffs. These cuffs are designed to spread the weight around the wrist as much as possible while doing their best to prevent nerve damage and circulation issues. There are also hip, chest, and full body harnesses that support suspension too. Regardless of what type of suspension you are wanting to try, never attempt suspension when you are new to suspension or on your own. Find a teacher who can walk you through the how-to process step-by-step. Research the hell out of this. Practice on yourself before practicing on someone else. You can also practice suspension by using free weights. Tie them up and see if they will hold and observe how the rope moves once suspended. Always make sure you have a spotter. And when you begin practicing, start with a limb an inch off the ground and work your way up to greater distances.
What if I don’t have anyone to participate in rope play with? Is there any way I can participate?
Never ever do suspension alone. Rope play by itself can be a little more forgiving. There is a practice called self-tying. This is when you do Shibari rope ties on yourself. Leg, hip, arm, or chest ties can be done. One can find online step-by-step tutorials on how to tie a pattern. And once you get comfortable with that, you can find pictures and try to recreate them to provide more of a challenge. But as always, make sure you take the right safety precautions before you begin.
Rope can really be a fun and bonding experience between partners. Learning knots and making pretty intricate designs can be challenging and rewarding if you tie with a partner or solo. No matter your situation, position, or experience level, make sure you understand the risks involved and prepare for them to the best of your ability. This will provide a sense of reassurance and excitement that will grow your love of ropes. Be responsible, be cautious, tie up something or someone, and stay curious!
