Temperature Play involves the use of warm/hot or cool/cold items during kinky activities. This is part 2 of the Temperature Play Series, focusing specifically on Wax play. There is a plethora of information to know before participating in wax play. Let’s dive in.
What is wax play?
Wax play is a form of temperature and sensory play, where one uses hot melted wax to distribute onto their partner in various areas of the body.
There are a few different reasons one might want to dabble in wax play. Wax play can be used as a teasing foreplay type of experience where the bottom gets warmed up and is ready for more erotic activities later. But it can also be used as a main scene to focus on pleasure and pain, where the bottom feels every drip as a sharp yet manageable hot stinging prick.
What are some safety precautions you should be aware of?
I want to get this out of the way from the beginning. When wax play is done incorrectly, it can lead to first and second-degree burns, as well as permanent scarring.
It’s very important to understand how wax works. If you get hit with hot water at temperatures above 140°F (60°C), you will likely get a burn. But water doesn’t stick to the skin; hot wax does. Wax retains heat, so wax at this temperature is very likely going to create a worse burn than water would at the same temperature. As a general kink rule, it is widely accepted that the temperature of hot wax coming into contact with the skin should not exceed 135°F (57°C). But how do you truly know what the temperature of melted wax is? You won’t. Invest in a candy thermometer to test and know the temperature of the wax you are applying.
Remember to discuss the possibility of potential injuries. All parties should go into the scene with the understanding that there is a possibility of 2nd-degree burns occuring. And for safety purposes always have a fire extinguisher or some water, and a first aid kit available.
What type of wax should you use?
Candles are made from paraffin wax, beeswax, soy wax, palm wax, coconut wax, gel, stearin, and tallow. Candles can have additives in them that will give them color and/or scents as well as make them harder or softer. The temperature that a candle melts depends on the materials being burned. Additives can affect this temperature. So, changing from one candle to the next, even if they are the same kind, might produce different results.
A candle may be full of hardeners or additives which can make its melting point higher than expected. This can be very dangerous. The best way to see how hot a candle feels when it melts is to test it out on yourself. The temperature of the wax can be tested on the inside of your wrist. Use the sensitive skin here or on your inner elbow to get a feel for how hot the candle truly is. As a Dominant, NEVER use hot wax on someone that you haven’t first tested on yourself.
Not all waxes should be used in a beginner or intermediate kink scene. Leave the hotter waxes for people who have more experience on how to use them safely. Let’s take a look at the different melting points of each wax.
- Paraffin: Pure paraffin wax melts at around 130-135 °F (54-57 °C), and is a good and common option for kinky wax play.
- Beeswax: Beeswax has a very hot melting point and in general should not be used. Beeswax’s melting point is 144-147 °F (62- 64 °C) and can cause second or third-degree burns.
- Soy: Pure soy wax is a great option for wax play as it has a low melting point from 121-125 °F (49-52 °C). Because soy wax has such a low melting point, these candles are always sold in containers as they are too soft to hold a sturdy form.
- Palm: Palm wax or carnauba wax has a very high melting point and should not be used in kink. The melting point is about 180-187 °F (82-86 °C), and it’s too hot to be applied to the skin.
- Coconut: Pure coconut wax has the lowest melting point for candles at just 100-107 °F (38-42°C). It is great for wax play, however, coconut wax is rather expensive when compared to other types of wax. Also, because of its low melting point, these candles are more difficult to ship, especially if you live in a warmer climate or if it’s being shipped during the summer months.
- Gel: Gel candles melt at the highest melting point of 180-220 °F (82-104 °C) and should never be used. Not even by those who are extremely experienced.
- Stearin: Stearin is obtained from vegetable or animal fats and oils. It has a melting point of around 144 °F (62 °C) and should not be used for kink play.
- Tallow: Tallow is the rendered fat of animals. It has a melting point anywhere from 125-165 °F (52-74 °C). For kink play, avoid tallow candles. Wax that is made from animal fat can be extremely hot and cause severe burns.
It’s fairly common for waxes to be mixed with other waxes. Make sure you know what wax or wax combination you are using before you start a scene.
When setting up a wax play scene what should I prep before the scene?
Before you begin to play with wax, prepare your area. Wax play is messy, so make sure you place a sheet or tarp down to protect any fabric surfaces. Playing on a flat surface provides the best control of where the wax goes. Proper lighting is also important for the Dom to see how much wax is being applied. And make sure you lay out all the tools you wish to use during the scene before you begin. Nothing kills a scene/headspace like having to pause in the middle to search for something you don’t have.
As intuitive as it sounds, remove all flammable items from the area. Make sure no one is wearing any lotions, perfumes, body sprays, or hair sprays. Ideally, the Dom should wear old clothes that are not baggy or loose, and the sub should be naked. Baggy or loose clothing can get caught in a flame or accidentally dipped in melted wax. Don’t wear acrylic, nylon, polyester, or any clothing made from artificial materials. If hot wax gets on these fabrics, it can cause the fabric to melt to the skin.
Should a sub shave their body hair before participating in wax play?
This is a good question and honestly, it depends on preference. Wax can stick to thick body hair (think genitals, chest, and head hair), and can be a pain in the ass to remove. Finer body hair that covers the body usually isn’t an issue.
I have heard that some people use body oil or Vaseline to provide a barrier to help with wax removal. This is just a preference. However keep in mind if you use oil, it can make the wax feel a little hotter on the skin. Because I’m a bit of a sadist, I personally do not like oiling the skin first, as it makes removal less fun for me.
How does someone do wax play? Are there techniques one should know?
When you begin the actual scene, hold the candle or the hot wax high over the body, about 12-18 in (30-46 cm), the higher the better. The longer the distance a drop of hot wax travels, the cooler it is when it makes contact with the skin, and the faster it will solidify on the body. You can manipulate the temperature of the drops of wax by increasing or decreasing the distance the wax falls.
When you begin, start high and watch how the submissive reacts. Drip the wax at different heights and on different areas of the body. This will help the sub build a tolerance to the wax as well as deepen their headspace which will allow the scene to last longer. Some areas are more sensitive than others so their tolerance will fluctuate. Also, when new wax is dropped on top of old wax or on a previously waxed area, it will feel hotter. So when layering wax, watch the submissive for their reaction.
Keep an eye out for wax that is pooling or puddling, specifically in the small of the back, or where two body parts come together (ass cheeks, legs, crotch, arms). You want wax to cool and harden on the skin, not sit and remain in a molten liquid form.
Keeping ice on hand to alternate between wax play and ice play can intensify the feeling so much that they might think their skin is on fire. Such an extreme contrast between temperatures (especially if they are bound and blindfolded and do not know where the next sensation will be) creates a mind-boggling experience that will keep them on edge until the Dom decides otherwise.
Combining wax play, sensory play, and restraints can take a submissive to a level that is hard to match. I wouldn’t recommend having the submissive gagged during wax play. Communication needs to be encouraged.
Where can wax be applied?
As a general rule, any external area below the neck is safe for play. The most common targets for wax play are the genitals, ass, thighs, chest, and stomach. Some of the more sensitive areas are the nipples, the lower stomach/hip area, the genitals, and the inner thighs. One area that surprised me in regards to sensitivity is the area around and below the collarbone.
Here are a few do-nots. Never use hot wax on the head and face. Wax on the external genitals is safe for play, but for beginners and intermediates, I do not recommend dripping or pouring wax inside the labia (vagina lips). The skin inside the labia is very sensitive and 1st or 2nd degree burns there are very painful and take weeks to heal. Also, never drip wax directly into the vaginal opening or anus.
What should you do if wax causes a burn?
While doing a wax play scene, causing a burn can happen, even if you have taken all the necessary precautions. So, if you do, don’t panic. Make sure you know how to treat emergency burns before play.
If the submissive says they feel like they are being or have been burned, remove the wax and use a damp cloth to cool the area. Check their skin. If you see large blisters then you need to seek medical attention. Where as if there are only small blisters, keep the area clean and do not pop the blisters. Extremely red skin would need aloe vera or some other burn ointment to be applied. If the skin is pink, this is normal and just apply a cool wet compress.
What are ways to remove the wax?
So it’s time to remove the wax, clean up, and end the scene, right? Wrong. The wax removal process is just as fun as applying the wax. The submissive’s skin at this point is so tender, it would be a shame to neglect that fact.
Pulling off hardened wax leaves bare sensitive skin just waiting to be stimulated. Try running a fingernail gently across it, using a feather, or even just blowing against it. My personal favorite is to use a Wartenberg wheel (pinwheel) and slowly roll it over the pink tender skin. It’s divine.
To remove the wax, you could use a blunt knife, or a comb held sideways to gently scrape off the wax. I’ve also seen someone use a credit card. Anything with a fine blunt edge will do. Some will combine impact play to remove the wax. I don’t recommend this for beginners or intermediates. The skin is so sensitive and irritated from the hot wax, combining impact play on a potential burn should be left to those with a lot of experience.
After removing the majority of the wax, sometimes little specks of wax might remain and can be annoyingly difficult to get off. You can apply baby oil to the skin for an erotic massage that can help. Though the best way to remove these bits of wax is to simply shower.
Wax is expensive and can be recycled and used again for next time. However, do not recycle wax that was used on the genitals. The temperature needed to sterilize wax will essentially ruin the wax. If you oil an area in preparation for wax removal, do not recycle that wax. If you notice dirt or foreign particles in the wax, throw it away.
What kind of aftercare should be given after Wax play?
Aftercare depends on the needs of those involved. But in general, when you have a highly intense scene, coupling it with a soft, sensual aftercare routine can help with headspace recovery. Make sure you have all the aftercare necessities, a first aid kit, water, blanket, snacks, and comfort items. You can also get some lotion, cream, or even aloe and gently rub it on the post-waxed, sensitive skin. Aftercare is supposed to be used as bonding time. Don’t be afraid to show affection and appreciation for your partner.
Hot wax on the skin has an incredible ability to make the skin super sensitive and can elevate other kinks to a new level. Once removed, the skin can be so sensitive even a light touch or soft breath can make one squirm. This type of play can be so erotic but also dangerous. So make sure before you participate, whether you are the Top or the bottom, you educate yourself and your partners on all the risks involved. Be responsible, be kinky, and stay curious!
