The Jerk Test

A coworker shares a picture of their oddly looking pet. What is your response?

“Too cute.”

“That’s an interesting photo.”

“Why does it look like that?”

“Aww, so adorable.”

“Nice.”

Someone asks what you want to eat and then rejects every suggestion. You…

Tell them to make the decision.

Suggest something simple.

Ask what they want instead.

Keep trying.

Say “You know what, you eat air.”

You are in a group chat. Someone sends a five paragraph message. You…

React with an emoji and move on.

Leave the chat and never respond.

Reply hours later with “Just saw this.”

Read it fully.

Skim politely.

Someone you are not fond of calls your name from across the room. You…

Look up and wave.

Pretend you did not hear them until they try again.

Ignore it completely and keep doing what you were doing.

Respond immediately.

Wait a moment before answering.

Someone is walking slowly in front of you. What do you do?

Speed-walk past like you are late to a meeting.

Match their pace and wait patiently.

Pass them dramatically so they know they were the problem.

Say “Excuse me” then walk around them.

Gently clear your throat.

A person keeps talking during an at-home movie. What is your move?

Ignore it.

Whisper “Shh.”

Pause the movie and stare at them until they notice.

Say “Can you not?” in a quiet but deadly voice.

Glance over at them.

Someone asks, “Do you mind helping me with something?”

“Um, I'd rather not.”

“Is there anyone else available?”

“How long will it take?”

“Of course.”

“Sure, what is it?”

A person starts venting for 40 straight minutes. What do you do?

Check your phone a few times.

Nod and say “Wow” every so often.

Stop them shortly after they begin and tell them you do not have time for this.

Listen patiently.

Interrupt and ask if there is a shorter version.

A person bumps into you and does not apologize. Your move?

Say “Excuse me.”

Give them a confused blink.

Bump them back with matching energy.

Let it go and continue on with your day.

Say “Excuse you.”

Someone asks for your honest opinion but your opinion is negative. What do you do?

Say “You asked for honesty. Better not cry.”

Give a gentle answer.

Give the truth with care.

Soften the truth.

Give the truth without care.

Your friend tells a story wrong. What happens next?

You retell the entire story properly.

You ask “Do you want the real version or your fan fiction?”

You say “That is not how it went” and fix it.

You correct one tiny detail.

You let them talk.

You hold the door open for someone and they do not say thank you. Your reaction?

You hold the door just long enough for them to catch the door.

You purposely shut the door in front of them next time.

You mutter “You are welcome.”

You keep holding it until they walk through.

You say “My mistake, I thought you were raised better.”

Someone is being dramatic about a minor inconvenience. What do you do?

Offer them a fix so they stop complaining.

Say “It is not that serious.”

Let them talk it out.

Ask “Is this the hill you want to die on?”

Listen and show concern.

Someone asks a question you already answered. What happens?

You do not answer and wait for them to figure it out.

You explain again kindly.

You explain again, but shorter.

You point to where you already answered.

You say “I already told you this.”

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