I am going to propose something that I have been contemplating for a long time. How I understand drop from my personal experiences, do not always match with what I have researched and learned about drop on an informational level. I believe there are two different types of drop, chemical drop and emotional drop, and I will explain them as I go. Chemical drop is the more referenced/well-known type of drop, so when most people say drop, they are usually referring to this.
What is drop?
To understand what chemical drop is, you have to understand a little bit about the body. This type of drop can be triggered after an intense play scene. (There is a great article that goes into detail about it here, but I’ll give an overview.) When you have an intense scene, like impact, for example, your adrenaline, endorphins, and other body chemicals rise. The increase in these chemicals can lead to subspace (but not a guarantee), and it can be an incredible rush and ride. But once you start to come down, these chemicals burn off at different rates. Adrenaline burns off very quickly, endorphins and other chemicals burn off a bit slower. So this can leave you with a physical chemical imbalance. This imbalance can create different side effects, like anxiety, extreme sadness, uncontrollable emotions, lethargy, loss of appetite, headaches, body shakes, feeling isolated or alone, having to deal with irrational fears, or more.
Whereas, emotional drop does not stem from a chemical imbalance following an intense scene. It can stem from a scene or a get-together ending, where you don’t have the comfort and enjoyment that you had. Almost like someone dealing with a loss. (Here is an article that explains the two types of drop). Emotional drop can have feelings of sadness, anger, stress, irrational fears, aloneness, or self-hatred. Emotional drop can feel like a funk that is hard to get out of.
How long can drop last?
Chemical drop generally lasts about a day (maybe two), which is about how long it can take your body chemicals to even back out. In contrast, emotional drop can last up to a week or longer.
What can you do to help drop?
Aftercare! Aftercare is all about recovery. It’s about taking care of the physical and emotional sides of yourself, and it can help with both types of drop. (To learn more about aftercare, you can click here.)
What is top guilt?
Top guilt can occur when a Dominant experiences emotional guilt after an intense scene. Society ingrains in us not to hit, strike, or hurt another person. Which I agree with unless the person receiving the pain consents in an informed manner. However, just because someone consents doesn’t negate the fact that all our lives we’ve been told not to. And this can attribute to top guilt. Hurting someone you care about, even when they want and enjoy it, can put an emotional toll on the person giving the pain. And during the scene, when everyone is riding high on those lovely body chemicals, everything is fun and sexy, but after the scene, the feeling of guilt can creep in.
Another fear of top guilt is going too far, and unintentionally physically or emotionally harming the bottom/submissive. This can keep the Top/Dominant from being able to enjoy the scene. Communicate with your partner. Talk about your intentions, talk about your fears, talk about what to do if something goes wrong. You can plan and prep for the worst and expect the best. Don’t let irrational fears control or dictate your actions.
Who can experience drop?
Anyone can experience drop. I personally have had chemical drop twice, once from an in-person scene and once from an online scene. Both instances were terrible. I was emotional for no reason. I had a physical tightening in my chest. My muscles were trembling uncontrollably. I remember my mind being completely clear. I was fully aware, satisfied, and happy with the scenes that I had. I didn’t understand why my body was reacting the way it was, and I had no way to stop it. I remember saying to myself, “Why am I crying? I’m not sad. I’m not upset. What is going on?” It was crazy and intense, and it was something I had to deal with until it passed. I’ve had emotional drop a few more times than chemical drop. And for me, it feels like a strong funk that is hard to get out of. I have different activities that I can do as aftercare to help me shake the funk, and they usually work, but sometimes I just have to ride it out and let it pass. I just have to stay aware of the fact that it is drop, it is normal, and it won’t last forever. Drop sucks, but it’s natural and common, and it will end, I promise.
Not everyone experiences drop. And I would argue that most people, regardless of their role, are more inclined to experience emotional drop than chemical drop. I also feel that chemical drop can trigger emotional drop. But no matter what type of drop you are talking about, drop is real. It’s normal. If you are experiencing drop, aftercare can and does help, regardless of where or how you get it! (I’ll link the aftercare article I did, one more time: here). Tell your partner how you’re feeling, what your thinking, and what you need. Keeping drop to yourself benefits no one and only makes what you are feeling worse. Drop might suck, but it doesn’t negate the indescribable feelings that you get in a scene with your partner. Preparing and being aware can help you recognize and deal with drop when and if it happens. And it can and does happen. Again, it is normal. Your feelings are natural and valid. And trust me, while it sucks, drop doesn’t last forever! Be kinky and stay curious!