One of the most recognized visual symbols of BDSM is a collar. But Why? What is the meaning behind them, and why are they so common in the lifestyle? Let’s explore!
What is a collar?
A collar can be many things. The definition for a collar in BDSM is simply a fitted object secured around the neck. The meaning of a collar that someone is wearing lays heavily with the person wearing the collar.
What are some different types of collars?
There are many different types of collars, though the most known one is an ownership collar. When someone references a collar, they are probably referencing an ownership collar.
Ownership collar– An ownership collar shows ownership and gives a promise that the Dominant takes the submissive as their own forever. This is a sacred collar because it is earned by a submissive, and is much like a wedding ring in a sense. It can carry more significance and be more meaningful than a wedding ring.
I have seen dynamics where it took the submissive YEARS to earn their ownership collar. And I’ve known submissives who never earned one, even after being with their Dominant for years. Just because a submissive may be owned and in a dynamic, doesn’t mean they necessarily have an ownership collar. Sometimes, in the case of an eternity or infinity collar, the ownership collar is locked on and can only be removed with a key or unique tool (unless it’s cut off). Make sure you do not lose the key!
Play collar– A type of collar that is worn during a scene or play. It can be incorporated into the scene, for example, attaching a leash to the collar and being led around by the leash, but it doesn’t have to be. A play collar can help one get in the submissive mindset.
I have a play collar, and when I would get to my Dominant’s place, he would put it on my neck, and when I got ready to leave, he would take it off. It was our agreement and protocol that I was not allowed to put it on myself. But, your protocol of how and when a collar is worn may be different.
Consideration collar– A consideration collar can be worn for two reasons, when someone is under consideration for a dynamic (during the under consideration period), and when one is owned but hasn’t yet earned an ownership collar. How long consideration lasts is dependent on the people involved.
Protection collar– A protection collar can be worn when someone is under the protection of another.
Training collar– A collar that is worn during a training session. It can be different than a play collar, or very similar. Usually, a training collar will aid in the type of training that is occurring.
Posture collar– A posture collar is a taller, thicker collar that covers more of the neck. It holds the head and neck straight and restricts movement. A posture collar can be the same as a training collar or play collar, or it can be completely different, dependent on the type of training or play.
Day collar– A day collar is a discreet type of collar that can be worn in public that represents a dynamic. Symbolic jewelry (that isn’t a collar) can also be worn discreetly in public to represent a dynamic as well.
What are some different materials collars can be made out of?
Collars can be made out of anything you can imagine, metal, leather, cloth, twine, rope, string, ribbon, chain. The list goes on and on.
How can you keep a collar clean?
It depends on the material of the collar that you have. Make sure you research how to keep said material clean.
If a submissive is owned, do they have to have a collar?
Not at all. Collars are not a necessity. They are visual symbols that some like and others don’t. Not everyone likes the feeling of a collar around their neck. Not everyone likes the look of a collar. Having a collar does not make things more official compared to not having a collar. It’s just a matter of preference.
What is the difference in being collared and wearing a collar?
This one is huge. Wearing a collar is literally just that, having one on. The type of collar being worn and the people involved dictate the meaning, significance, and reason for the collar.
Being collared is when you receive your ownership collar. When a submissive has been collared by their Dominant and the Dominant has taken the submissive as their own permanently, they essentially are now a collared sub.
What are some things you should be aware of before getting a collar?
Neck size. Measure the neck before ordering a collar. Collars are not one size fits all. Make sure two fingers can fit in between the collar and the neck. An adjustable collar is a good idea. They allow for fluctuations like bloating, weight loss, or weight gain.
Also, make sure the submissive doesn’t have an allergy to any of the materials that the collar is made from. Rashes around the neck are no fun.
What is a collaring ceremony?
A collaring ceremony is a lovely celebration where a submissive has earned (and is given) their ownership collar by their Dominant.
No matter why a submissive may wear a BDSM collar, the meaning behind them is important. Whether it’s decorated with their pet name or has rings on it so things can be attached to it, collars are fun. The feeling of it around the neck, feeling it when you swallow. Even the mindset of submission it can snap one into adds that extra element. It’s such a simple thing but can have such a huge effect. If you have been contemplating them, go for it! Don’t be afraid to get your (or your sub’s) collar on! And always remember, be kinky and stay curious!
