The Bitch Test

A person talks over you. What do you do?

Keep talking louder as if they were background noise.

Let them finish.

Correct them and let them know you were speaking first.

Say, “Are you done?” once they stop.

Pause and take a deep breath while they finish.

Someone tells you to “calm down.” What do you do?

Say “Interesting choice of words.”

Take a deep breath.

Say “Interesting choice of words.”

Say “I am calm.”

Rage out and cause a scene.

Someone lies to you even though you know the truth. What happens?

You let it go.

You say, “I will let you rethink that sentence.”

You ask, “Are you sure?”

You entertain it. “Oh, wow, interesting”

You repeat their lie back to them with a raised eyebrow.

A person keeps bragging. You respond by…

Listening politely.

Saying “Good for you.”

Smiling and zoning out.

Asking, “Does this story get better or can I sit down?”

Letting them know you are suspicious, “Wow that's quite the tale.”

You see someone being dramatic for attention. What do you think?

“I refuse to clap for this performance.”

“Here we go.”

“I hope they are okay.”

“They love an audience.”

“Not my business.”

Someone says, “You look tired today.” How do you respond?

“Do I? Huh.”

“Funny, I was about to say the same about you.”

“Wow. Brave choice to start your day like this.”

“Thank you for your concern.”

“Amazing. Insult me at breakfast.”

A stranger cuts in front of you in line. What happens next?

You step closer so they know you noticed.

You move in front of them again with eye contact and zero explanation.

You sigh loudly.

You tap their shoulder and ask if they are lost.

You let it go.

Someone offers advice you did not ask for. Your reaction?

You pretend to listen, and then come up with an excuse to leave.

You smile politely.

You reply with “That is wild considering no one asked your opinion.”

You stare until they get uncomfortable and walk away.

You say “Interesting” and ignore it.

Someone tries to drag you into drama that you did not start. What do you do?

Ignore it completely.

Tell them you aren't interested in taking part.

Start more drama.

Ask for clarification.

Interrupt then and shut the whole conversation down.

Someone tries to embarrass you in front of others. What do you do?

Laugh it off.

Clap back with grace.

Obliterate them with a one line comeback that becomes local legend.

Change the subject.

Give them a look that says “Noted.”

Someone gives you a fake compliment. How do you respond?

Give them a side eye the whole time.

“Cute attempt, try again.”

Say thank you.

Give a fake smile and move on.

“Your acting career needs work.”

You receive a text that says “We need to talk.” What is your reaction?

Worry about all the things you know you have done wrong.

Worry about all the things you might have done wrong

Take a deep breath and reply back “Ok, when?”

“Great. I will bring snacks and honesty.”

Send a text immediately “About what?”

When someone is rude to you, your default response is…

Offer a polite smile.

Give a short, clipped reply.

Walk away.

Ruin their confidence with one well-timed dig.

Point out exactly what they did.

Someone tries to guilt trip you. What is your move?

Try to fix it.

Say “I am not responsible for that.”

Feel awkward.

Point out the clear manipulation.

Respond in a way that makes them second-guess their entire approach.

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