The Bitch Test

Someone tells you to “calm down.” What do you do?

Take a deep breath.

Say “Interesting choice of words.”

Say “I am calm.”

Say “Interesting choice of words.”

Rage out and cause a scene.

You see someone being dramatic for attention. What do you think?

“I refuse to clap for this performance.”

“Not my business.”

“Here we go.”

“I hope they are okay.”

“They love an audience.”

A person talks over you. What do you do?

Pause and take a deep breath while they finish.

Say, “Are you done?” once they stop.

Keep talking louder as if they were background noise.

Correct them and let them know you were speaking first.

Let them finish.

Someone offers advice you did not ask for. Your reaction?

You reply with “That is wild considering no one asked your opinion.”

You stare until they get uncomfortable and walk away.

You say “Interesting” and ignore it.

You pretend to listen, and then come up with an excuse to leave.

You smile politely.

Someone lies to you even though you know the truth. What happens?

You let it go.

You say, “I will let you rethink that sentence.”

You repeat their lie back to them with a raised eyebrow.

You ask, “Are you sure?”

You entertain it. “Oh, wow, interesting”

You receive a text that says “We need to talk.” What is your reaction?

Worry about all the things you know you have done wrong.

Take a deep breath and reply back “Ok, when?”

“Great. I will bring snacks and honesty.”

Send a text immediately “About what?”

Worry about all the things you might have done wrong

Someone gives you a fake compliment. How do you respond?

“Cute attempt, try again.”

Give them a side eye the whole time.

“Your acting career needs work.”

Say thank you.

Give a fake smile and move on.

A person keeps bragging. You respond by…

Smiling and zoning out.

Listening politely.

Letting them know you are suspicious, “Wow that's quite the tale.”

Saying “Good for you.”

Asking, “Does this story get better or can I sit down?”

A stranger cuts in front of you in line. What happens next?

You step closer so they know you noticed.

You tap their shoulder and ask if they are lost.

You sigh loudly.

You let it go.

You move in front of them again with eye contact and zero explanation.

Someone says, “You look tired today.” How do you respond?

“Funny, I was about to say the same about you.”

“Thank you for your concern.”

“Amazing. Insult me at breakfast.”

“Wow. Brave choice to start your day like this.”

“Do I? Huh.”

Someone tries to guilt trip you. What is your move?

Point out the clear manipulation.

Feel awkward.

Try to fix it.

Respond in a way that makes them second-guess their entire approach.

Say “I am not responsible for that.”

Someone tries to embarrass you in front of others. What do you do?

Give them a look that says “Noted.”

Laugh it off.

Change the subject.

Obliterate them with a one line comeback that becomes local legend.

Clap back with grace.

Someone tries to drag you into drama that you did not start. What do you do?

Ignore it completely.

Ask for clarification.

Interrupt then and shut the whole conversation down.

Start more drama.

Tell them you aren't interested in taking part.

When someone is rude to you, your default response is…

Ruin their confidence with one well-timed dig.

Walk away.

Point out exactly what they did.

Give a short, clipped reply.

Offer a polite smile.

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