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The Asshole Test

Someone posts something embarrassing online. You…

React with a single emoji.

Hope they're okay.

Send it to a friend.

Screenshot it for future use.

Reach out to check on them.

None

Someone asks "Can you help me real quick?" You say…

"What do you need?"

"No."

"Sure."

"How quick is quick?"

"Probably not."

None

Someone gives a wrong opinion confidently. You…

Let it go.

Correct them loudly.

Correct them politely.

Change the subject.

Humiliate them with facts.

None

A coworker tries to bond with small talk. Your response?

Say "I'm working."

Ignore them entirely.

Engage politely.

Nod and smile.

Give short replies.

None

A friend vents for the fifth time about the same issue. You say…

"This again?"

"You created this problem. Deal with it."

"I'm here for you."

"Have you tried fixing it?"

"That sounds rough."

None

Someone interrupts you. What happens?

You overtalk them and keep going like nothing happened.

You stare until they get uncomfortable.

You wait while rolling your eyes.

You let them finish.

You cut them off instantly.

None

Someone cries in front of you. Your reaction?

Sit quietly and listen.

Comfort them.

Say "You're okay, suck it up."

Freeze up and say nothing.

Ask "Do you need anything?"

None

A stranger bumps into you. You respond…

"Watch it."

You bump them back.

"Oops."

"It's okay."

"Are you blind?"

None

A friend asks "Was that rude?" after saying something sharp. You…

Say "Yes."

Say "Rude is an understatement."

Say "A little bit."

Say "No."

Say "Obviously."

None

Someone gives you a gift you don't like. You…

Smile politely.

Say "This isn't really my style."

Say "You shouldn't have."

Say "Thank you."

Ask if they kept the receipt.

None

You're asked for honest feedback. Your instinct is…

Tell them the uncomfortable truth.

Be gentle.

Tell them the truth in a way that stings.

Tell them the truth.

Tell them the nice version.

None

Someone apologizes to you. You…

Thank them for the apology.

Say "You should be."

Say "It's fine."

Say "Okay."

Say nothing and walk away.

None

A person is telling a long boring story. You…

Say "This story could be shorter."

Check your phone while they're still talking.

Nod politely.

Say "Get to the point."

Listen but drift off mentally.

None

Someone says "You don't have to be so mean." You reply…

"Okay."

"Noted."

"Actually, yes I do."

"Trust me, this is me being nice."

"This is the gentle version.

None

Time's up

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