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The Asshole Test

Someone apologizes to you. You…

Thank them for the apology.

Say "It's fine."

Say "Okay."

Say nothing and walk away.

Say "You should be."

None

A friend vents for the fifth time about the same issue. You say…

"You created this problem. Deal with it."

"Have you tried fixing it?"

"I'm here for you."

"This again?"

"That sounds rough."

None

A person is telling a long boring story. You…

Say "This story could be shorter."

Check your phone while they're still talking.

Say "Get to the point."

Listen but drift off mentally.

Nod politely.

None

Someone asks "Can you help me real quick?" You say…

"Sure."

"How quick is quick?"

"What do you need?"

"No."

"Probably not."

None

Someone gives a wrong opinion confidently. You…

Change the subject.

Correct them loudly.

Correct them politely.

Humiliate them with facts.

Let it go.

None

Someone posts something embarrassing online. You…

Screenshot it for future use.

Reach out to check on them.

Send it to a friend.

React with a single emoji.

Hope they're okay.

None

Someone cries in front of you. Your reaction?

Ask "Do you need anything?"

Comfort them.

Say "You're okay, suck it up."

Freeze up and say nothing.

Sit quietly and listen.

None

A coworker tries to bond with small talk. Your response?

Engage politely.

Nod and smile.

Give short replies.

Ignore them entirely.

Say "I'm working."

None

Someone interrupts you. What happens?

You wait while rolling your eyes.

You stare until they get uncomfortable.

You let them finish.

You overtalk them and keep going like nothing happened.

You cut them off instantly.

None

Someone gives you a gift you don't like. You…

Say "Thank you."

Say "This isn't really my style."

Say "You shouldn't have."

Ask if they kept the receipt.

Smile politely.

None

A friend asks "Was that rude?" after saying something sharp. You…

Say "Yes."

Say "No."

Say "Obviously."

Say "A little bit."

Say "Rude is an understatement."

None

A stranger bumps into you. You respond…

"Watch it."

"Oops."

You bump them back.

"Are you blind?"

"It's okay."

None

Someone says "You don't have to be so mean." You reply…

"Okay."

"Noted."

"Trust me, this is me being nice."

"Actually, yes I do."

"This is the gentle version.

None

You're asked for honest feedback. Your instinct is…

Be gentle.

Tell them the truth in a way that stings.

Tell them the nice version.

Tell them the truth.

Tell them the uncomfortable truth.

None

Time's up

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