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The Asshole Test

Someone gives you a gift you don't like. You…

Smile politely.

Ask if they kept the receipt.

Say "This isn't really my style."

Say "Thank you."

Say "You shouldn't have."

None

Someone interrupts you. What happens?

You let them finish.

You cut them off instantly.

You wait while rolling your eyes.

You stare until they get uncomfortable.

You overtalk them and keep going like nothing happened.

None

You're asked for honest feedback. Your instinct is…

Tell them the nice version.

Be gentle.

Tell them the uncomfortable truth.

Tell them the truth in a way that stings.

Tell them the truth.

None

Someone says "You don't have to be so mean." You reply…

"This is the gentle version.

"Noted."

"Trust me, this is me being nice."

"Actually, yes I do."

"Okay."

None

Someone apologizes to you. You…

Say nothing and walk away.

Say "You should be."

Say "It's fine."

Say "Okay."

Thank them for the apology.

None

A coworker tries to bond with small talk. Your response?

Say "I'm working."

Engage politely.

Ignore them entirely.

Nod and smile.

Give short replies.

None

Someone gives a wrong opinion confidently. You…

Change the subject.

Correct them loudly.

Let it go.

Humiliate them with facts.

Correct them politely.

None

Someone asks "Can you help me real quick?" You say…

"No."

"How quick is quick?"

"What do you need?"

"Probably not."

"Sure."

None

A stranger bumps into you. You respond…

"Watch it."

"It's okay."

"Are you blind?"

"Oops."

You bump them back.

None

A person is telling a long boring story. You…

Check your phone while they're still talking.

Say "Get to the point."

Say "This story could be shorter."

Nod politely.

Listen but drift off mentally.

None

A friend vents for the fifth time about the same issue. You say…

"This again?"

"I'm here for you."

"You created this problem. Deal with it."

"Have you tried fixing it?"

"That sounds rough."

None

Someone cries in front of you. Your reaction?

Comfort them.

Say "You're okay, suck it up."

Freeze up and say nothing.

Sit quietly and listen.

Ask "Do you need anything?"

None

Someone posts something embarrassing online. You…

React with a single emoji.

Screenshot it for future use.

Reach out to check on them.

Send it to a friend.

Hope they're okay.

None

A friend asks "Was that rude?" after saying something sharp. You…

Say "No."

Say "Rude is an understatement."

Say "A little bit."

Say "Obviously."

Say "Yes."

None

Time's up

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